Beer Review: Miller High Life (The Champagne of Beers)


A love letter to the one and only Champagne of Beers

By: MC Screwdriver

“I don’t think a beer should be this slammable. It is outrageous. It is unfair!”- Anakin Beerwalker

Miller High Life is identified by The Miller Brewing Company as an American-Style Lager, and it has been filling daddies’ bellies since 1903. This beer is worthy of a special event just like champagne serves us on New Years Eve. In fact, I once got a bottle of High Life “champagne” for NYE, and then proceeded to beer bong the entire thing. It looked a little something like this.


25.4 OZ of pure joy

Obviously they don’t call it “The Champagne of Beers” for nothing. Most of my friends would say that my go to is High Life, most specifically when I can get them in the 12 oz. glass bottles. Below is a slideshow showcasing the different forms in which one can indulge in this smooth drinking beverage.



Despite High Life having such an iconic, timeless, and classic look to it, its packaging has still seen some minor changes over the years.


Bottle, Can, and Logo History:

Bottles:

Miller High Life bottle design history: 1903-2004

I don’t quite understand what Miller was thinking between ’87-’95 because when they sold High Life in the American standard 12 oz. bottle shape, they also removed the slanted label. Both of those moves are a sin. Most likely this was a cost saving measure but thankfully they wised up and brought us back that classic, gradual curve to the top of the bottle, and the slanted label in ’97. That trademarked High Life bottle design not only looks better but, in my opinion, makes it go down smoother than other glass bottled beers. It is interesting, though, how much that shape has changed over the years; from being stockier, to taller and leaner. Aside from the ’87-’95 packaging, High Life has always served us bottles that evoke its memorable tagline, “The Champagne of Beers.”


Cans:

Just earlier this year, Miller High Life Tweeted a collage of their can history for #BeerCanAppreciationDay that is posted below. Swipe for more.


I’m a guy who loves most ’80s designs but that can just looks like a Christmas ale. I don’t understand what they were doing back then. ’68 can looks pretty sweet but I’m content with the current sleek can design.

When it comes to their logo, not much has changed from the get-go except that in 2010 Miller tweaked it.



The most notable changes here are that the red and gold are both darker, and the gold outline on the ribbon has moved inside. The font in “Miller” and “High Life” have both been thinned out, and there is now a gold outline on “High Life”. The point on the line underneath “Miller” has moved from between “High” and “Life” to between the “G” and “H” in “High”. Lastly, the ribbon has deeper cuts in the top, bottom, and sides. Personally, I like the more vibrant colors of the old logo, however it’s not different enough to upset me.

If you thought I was going to wrap up the logo history before talking about the infamous “Girl on the Moon”, then you’re dead wrong. She is the quintessential beer lady, and has been apart of High Life since 1903



Interestingly enough, Miller Brewing Company claims that, “The source of The Girl on the Moon is unknown.” Personally I find that a little fishy… perhaps they murdered someone for this art work, who knows. Regardless, I just love The Girl on the Moon and even have a mirror of her in my kitchen to pay respects to the GOAT.


Culture:

Like PBR, High Life is very common with similar groups of people such as old folk and hipsters. High Life doesn’t ever seem to feel pretentious though, but with PBR, hipster/indie boys like Ben Collins found a way to be pretentious about a non-pretentious beer.

In pop culture, High Life is seen in many different movies and TV shows; most notably, it is the beer of choice in my favorite movie Back to the Future.



When Doc says, “I need fuel”, he is referring to the GOAT. If you think about it, considering that High Life powered Mr. Fusion, and Doc, Marty, and Jennifer traveled to 2015 immediately after filling up the tank, then we can confirm that Miller High Life is the first beer to ever time travel.

No beer is worth celebrating more than “The Champagne of Beers” and that’s why you should always take pictures of these celebratory moments. If I didn’t, then this guy would probably steal my High Life.

R.I.P. Windell Middlebrooks AKA “The High Life Guy”

Good thing I got these to share.



With all of its rich history, design, culture, and even a little product placement, let’s get onto the main reason people keep coming back for more.


Taste:

I would describe Miller High Life as a very smooth drinking beer. It has that classic American domestic taste, but it never tastes foul like a Natty, nor too rich like a Budweiser. I recently taste-tested High Life and Miller Genuine Draft next to each other and I could hardly tell the difference. Makes me wonder what High Life Light would taste like. Anyhow, High Life is a very crisp, slightly malty, and refreshing beer that is very approachable for any beer lover. To me, they taste best out of the classic glass bottles, and occasionally with a little lime.


Cost:

Somehow the best beer in the world is incredibly affordable. High Life is one of the cheapest beers on the market, and for some reason is even cheaper than Miller Lite. Nowadays people care more about the calories in their beer than the quality of flavor… what a sad world we live in. Typically a 12 pack of glass bottles will set you back around 9 plus dollars in Ohio, though the price is rising with recent inflation.


Dad Blog Beer Review Score:

10/10, perfect for what it is.

Conclusion:

Go buy some and enjoy drinkin’ “The Champagne of Beers” with that girl on the moon.

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