GOAT Fire Chili-esque Sloppy Joe

“I made em extra sloppy for ye.”- The lunch lady from Billy Madison

FR though I did, sloppy and god damn delicious. Some would even say GOAT fire just from looking at the picture. Regardless of its flaming, these sloppy’s are sure to fill you up and it’s an easy one pot recipe. Something good for a couple of starving dads.


  • 1lb of 80/20 beef (fat is flavor, don’t let me catch you making this with that Laura’s lean)
  • 1 can of red kidney beans (light or dark works but you MUST drain)
  • 1-2 jalapenos (depending on size and preference)
  • 3 cloves garlic (minced)
  • Cheddar cheese
  • 1 cup ketchup
  • A good squirt of honey
  • 1 Tbsp butter
  • A few dashes of Apple Cider Vinegar
  • A few dashes of really hard to pronounce W sauce
  • 1 tsp dried oregano
  • 1 tsp smoked paprika (regular works too)
  • 1 tsp mustard powder
  • 1 tsp onion powder
  • 1 tsp cayenne
  • salt and pepper to taste

Alright, here’s whatcha gonna wanna do:

First things first, get your pan, pot, or whatever you’ll be using at a nice medium high heat with some oil in the pan.

Next, add in beef and make sure you get that maillard reaction on the beef while you break it up with your utensil of choice.

Once the beef is decently browned and you can still see a little pink, add in the jalapeno, garlic, and your drained can of kidney beans. Don’t worry, the beef will continue to cook with the other ingredients.

Then you’re going to want to add in the wet ingredients including your cup of ketchup, good squirt of honey, ACV, and the W sauce.

Ok we’re about 75 percent of the way to Flavortown but you can’t get to Flavortown with out your trusty spices. Throw in all of the spices listed above, and salt and pepper to taste. last but not least and certainly necessary, a tablespoon of butter for extra richness.

Mix your slop, turn the heat to high, and allow all those delicious ingredients to meet each other, while we thicken this thing up a bit. After about a minute or so, turn heat to low, stir, and it’s ready to serve.

Ways to serve:

Here’s where this get’s interesting. Now we all know that the classic sloppy joe is served on a plain white roll, unbuttered, un-toasted, and frankly imho could use a little extra pizazz. At the same time though, something that I’ve come to appreciate from enjoying Nashville hot chicken, is that un-toasted white sandwich bread that just soaks up all those juices and flavor becoming its own side in itself. On top of that, I’ve always liked how you get pickles with your Nashville hot because pickles add that great necessary acid to counteract richness in so many sandwiches and especially to the hot chicken. So what am I getting at here? Just enjoy your meals how YOU would enjoy them, and always be creative. I took influence from Nashville hot chicken, and layered a good heap of the sloppy on top of that plain white, unbuttered, and un-toasted sandwich bread with 4 pickle slices. This soaked up so good by the way, but definitely a knife and fork ordeal. I also heavily toasted the top piece of bread and cut that up and used it to add some extra crunch to the party. Oh and I put cheese on it too, completely and utterly unnecessary, but I’m from Cincinnati and anything that resembles chili in any way shape or form, we have to add shredded cheddar to.


As you can see, I just couldn’t resist the urge to bite into this dad slop before I took the picture.

Well go out there or stay in there I suppose and make the thing! It might not be the prettiest most Insta worthy meal but it’ll warm your heart, and that’s not even from all of the saturated fat.

Keep on cooking on.


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