Beer Review: Milwaukee’s Best Ice
By: Sheriff of Rarden
Let me start this review by just saying what everyone is already thinking: Milwaukee’s Best Ice is the greatest beer of all time. Period. Bar none. It’s the GOAT.
With that obvious fact out of the way, let’s dive deeper into the glory of Milwaukee’s.
First off, as the name would imply, Milwaukee’s Best Ice a.k.a The Beast, a.k.a. World’s Best Ice is brewed in Milwaukee a.k.a. Cream City, a.k.a. Beer Town, a.k.a The Dad Bod Mecca. There’s not much to do in the Midwest other than eat corn and get wasted and Wisconsinites understand this better than anyone, as evidenced by their impressive list of breweries and cornfields.
Milwaukee, once called the “Beer Capital of the World”, is home to such brewing titans as the Miller Brewing Company and Pabst. Milwaukee’s Best Ice is actually brewed by Miller, yet while Miller Lite tastes like dumpster juice, the Beast tastes like a nectar brewed by the almighty God Bod himself. But we can get to that later.
Cost: World’s Best Ice is the most cost effective beer out there. I have never come across another beer that costs less than Milwaukee’s. Not even Natty Light is as cheap. When you factor in that Milwaukee’s sells 15 packs rather than 12 packs and their 40’s actually contain 42 oz., they beat every other beer in price. Milwaukee’s Best is worth less than Venezuela’s currency. It’s cheaper than water. It’s probably cheaper than air.
Taste: I’m not gonna lie, Milwaukee’s is an acquired taste. Whereas most cheap beers try their hardest to taste like water, the Beast actually tries to taste like a real beer. And, by golly, I have to give them credit for trying! It has a nice corn-like flavor with an aftertaste of acetone. Sometimes, for no discernible reason, one can will taste like vinegar. Crack open another and it tastes almost sweet, like it was personally blessed by God Bod. Crack open another and you’re already tipsy enough to stop caring about the flavor. Speaking of tipsy, let’s talk about the alcohol content.
Strength: Being an Ice, the Beast packs a punch with a respectable 5.9% ABV. And when I say “packs a punch” I mean the Beast is a straight savage that will kick your ass if you’re not prepared for it. One of the first nights I ever had World’s Best ended with me throwing up all over another Dad Bod and passing out in another man’s clothes. Drink water kids. Anyway, at one point, in late 2016, Miller actually upped the alcohol content to 6.9% before lowering it back down in the summer of 2017. I can only imagine the alcohol poisoning I would’ve gotten had I known about Milwaukee’s back then. I’d probably be dead.
Overall: Milwaukee’s Best Ice isn’t for everyone. If you want a slim physique, stay away. If you want consistent flavor, stay away. If you want a fancy craft beer, stay away. But for those who want to get shitfaced beyond all recognition, the Beast is here to stay.
Final Verdict: GOAT FIRE
“Got a Wauk in my hand! You’re just a Natty Light fan!” – Baggy J