World’s Daddiest French Toast

Like any good dad knows, the secret to a long and satisfying life is to eat a delicious, carb heavy breakfast every morning. Run-of-the-mill dads might reach for a box of Quaker Life Cereal (see what I did there with that “run-of-the-mill” pun) or toast a few Eggo waffles since they’re quick and easy to wrap up in a napkin if you’re a working dad on the run. But if you’re a daddy with a little extra time on your hands and you want to treat your belly to a first meal that’s as classy as it is yummy, look no further. I present… the World’s Daddiest French Toast recipe.

What You Will Need

• 1 Egg
• A bowl to put the egg in
• A fork for reasons you will soon learn
• A quarter size pile of cinnamon (1/2 tsp.)
• A half dime size pile of nutmeg (1/8 tsp.)
• A half dollar size pile of sugar (1 tsp.)
• A quarter size pile of vanilla (1/2 tsp.)
• A half dollar size pile of milk (1 tsp.)
  • Dads, it’s okay to use any type of milk you want. Some dads like a thick and creamy whole milk feel, other daddy’s are lactose intolerant and care about cows so almond milk will also work just fine.
• 2 slices of bread (whichever type of bread that best fits your daddy interests)
• A generous glob of butter (you better not be using fucking margarine)
• A pan
• A spatula

Note* Measurements are written in terms of coin sizes since — as we all know — dads love to collect coins.

Directions

• Whisk all the ingredients in the bowl with the fork
• Put your glob of butter in the pan
• Dip your bread slices in the egg batter so that they’re nice and coated in the milky, eggy, spicy mix
• Heat up your butter in the pan on medium so that it’s nice and spread out (but not browning) once your bread is good and soggy
• Drop your soggy bread slices into the buttery pan
• Fry in the pan until toasty and golden
• Serve on a clean plate with an optional dusting of the pearl I know you have stashed in your kitchen cabinet (powdered sugar, of course!)
• Really just add any extra butter you want or some baby daddy sauce (maple syrup)
• And enjoy!

-Grace Thanasiu, part time dad